As it is I have no profile notorious enough to make me a catch for a national newspaper, nor do I have the right cv or connections to catapult me into the big league. Neither do I have the desire (or experience come to that) to enable me to write a sexy blockbuster, so I will have to be happy with what I can do. In between making a living elsewhere, I will simply write the odd blog when time allows.
These days I am so very busy, the things that usually inspire me are sadly absent. I have no time to walk in the woods, or wander down by the sea or go outside during these long summer evenings and watch the sun go down. I am, like too many of us, fully engaged with earning enough money to keep a house going and feed the family. It's a simple as that.
Years ago I wrote a story for children about dwarves... It's quite a long story, probably too long for children in this age of instant gratification, and at times it is quite dark, so to fit it into a suitable age group is like the dwarves themselves, rather tricky. My autistic daughter is engaged at present illustrating this story for me. Her illustrations are truly magnificent, and I am now concerned the story won't match the quality of her work... I have promised my grandson that I will finish this story, and so I must. I wrote one for him some years ago, so he knows I can do it and has faith in me. I mustn't let him down. Somehow I must find the time to devote to this work... and complete it.
It's been a sneaky flaw in my dna... this never finishing things. When I wash up after dinner, I always leave a spoon unwashed in the bowl. I have no idea why I do it, I just know that I do. Things are never quite complete. Perhaps it comes from fear of failure. It can't be judged as bad or wrong if it was never really finished. Unfortunately it also means never putting all of myself into things... I always keep a little bit back in reserve. Like standing on the edge... I'll never jump, no matter how much fun the others are having.
I love to paint too, and recently my pictures have been much admired, so what will I do about it?