Is this it? Is this how my life is going to be from now on? Am I never going to be able to go out to dinner and enjoy myself like everyone else?
Sometimes I think I've got some kind of pay back. For all the years I was too busy to listen to the promptings of my body. I would ignore it, sedate it and subdue it. I pushed it far beyond its limits, and then a bit more. Stress? You bet! If you fill yourself up with enough stimulants and sedatives, your body has no voice. It just survives the best it can. Now I've cleaned up my system, my body NEVER stops talking to me! My ego too is having a field day, and it's a job to keep it under control. It is amazing what stories a mind can tell.
It's so ironic! I've gone to all this effort, and now I cannot even take time out with a glass of wine, because I know how truly dreadful it will make me feel... Perhaps the truth is, the discomfort is all about beginning to feel who I really am. Without the props, the distractions and the sedatives, there is no one in here but me. Perhaps I am meeting myself for the first time since infancy. Perhaps I've just got to make friends with me...
In the meantime, it's sleep, water and fresh air that's keeping me going. At least I'm going to be a lot thinner!