This morning I feel strangly unsettled. Did I miss something? Did something happen that I should have been aware of?
It doesn't feel good - this feeling of unease in my heart. And that's not right is it? Shouldn't I be feeling blissed out today? Shouldn't I be rested, settled, tidy in my mind, peaceful and moving through my morning with contentment?
I feel none of these things.
Perhaps something has changed in me. Perhaps the meditations were so deep and healing they have moved something deep within my core. Could it be that something unknown, something that has remained hidden in the depths and darkness of my past, is finally moving away? Am I simply feeling the toxic release of long held fears? Like stagnant waste, festering deep within the murky fathoms of the lake of my life, am I simply feeling the result of the monsters of false beliefs and harsh judgments finally being evicted from their lodgings?
It doesn't have to be hard - or so 'they' say. You do not have to suffer to heal.
It can happen in an instant - time is nothing, it doesn't even exist. With a fleeting thought you can change yourself, your life, your world! And a part of me knows the truth of this.
But nonetheless here I am... restless, moody, edgy. I would not like me right now.